itz mi birfday week end!

i gottid a prezzie! CHIPMUNKZ! i gib dis toi 4 pawz up!

aftah killin awlla da varmintz, i wentid 2 werk onda boks

noo huntin tekneek

stay vewwy vewwy still, an da skwerlz kum 2 yoo.

i kant wate 2 tri dis owt!

reed hou dis werks & see moor picherz

wut?!

dat iz juss so RONG

da eester storee

2day iz wen awlla da wabbits role da eggz 

a way fum thare hidey-hole doorz an peek owtsyde. 

iffitz sunnee thay hoppy owtside 

an showt 'lets make sum baybeez!!!!!' 

thay dekkerate da eggz wiff purtee kullerz 

2 make eech uther happee. 

den thay habba big partee.

iffitz nut sunnee, thay go bakk 2 sleeps fer 3 dayz.

srsly.

simon'z kat needz huntin lessinz

flat skwerl

i fownd a skwerl inda street 2day. 

it did nut run a way, wich konfoozed mee.
da hoomin let mee sniffy it a liddo,
bud woodnut let mee choo onnit.

i votid!

re-inaktmint

wee wahkt 2 da skool 2day an votid. 

i gottid awl wetty inda drizzul rane. 

i did nut getta stikker on mi hed. 

mi vote iz seekrit! ime nut tellin!

i treed a skwerl onda way home.

UP DATE: da wun hoomin i did NUT wunt
fer mi alderhoomin WUN. dis izza trajadee. hee onlee wun kuz da vote wuz split up... nut beekawz lotsa hoominz wunt him!

bud wee habba chans 2 avert totul dizzaster nekst mumf bi votin ferra indeependint... an dat guy wunts a DAWGPARK inda ward sumware! soe i gess yoo noe hool ile vote fer! i kannut beelawng 2 too menee dawgparks.

skwerl mummee

i wuz wahkin past sum bushiz wen mi noze yelld 'lukk ovah heer!'

i dragd dis owt fum unner da bush.

da hoomin woodnut let mee choo onnit.

DIS PICHER IZ NUT FER DA SKWEEMISH.

bud mi huntin dawg frens will like it!

skwerl mummee
klik onda picher 2 see it larjer!!!

2 beet da skwerl...

...yoo muss tink lyke da skwerl.

wabbits inda wood pile

dayr ar varmints inda wood pile an unner da dekk. 

soe i puttid sum kayrits owt dayr fer dem. 

lukkee wut i fownd dis mawnin!

maykin sno-dawg trakks

a bushee mustash

its groundhawg day

well, wi NUT habba varmint preedikt da wether? 

a rodint will doo at leest az guud a jawb 

az da wetherhoominz (wut blizzerd?)

soe, if da varmint seez her shaddo, its gonna stay winter ferra wile.

if she duzzint see her shaddo, its gonna get warm inna wile.

i tink sheez gottit kubberd.

wasser b. maus

i stole dis pome fum mi hoomin. itz aboud a mowsee hoo lernz 2 reed.

The Adventures of Wasser B. Maus

(a poem in which the mouse is not killed or mangled)

Part I

wherein Maus awakens to possibilities

He lives between the walls in their cozy insulation,

with convenient entry halls to human habitation.

He holds his breath to scuttle through the people-byways,

his movements quick and subtle to avoid an errant eyegaze,

between the beams and up the pipe towards the second floor,

through a crack thin as a stripe into the corridor.

He searches in the bedroom closet for a scrap of wool

to make his nest more like a womb, and so, more comfortable.

The leaky faucet in the bath is always good for drink;

he opts instead to slide the path down to the kitchen sink.

He pauses at his hoard to nod approval at the nice

hole he chewed through the board to reach this paradise.

Crackers, cookies, bread galore -- nuts and biscuits, too --

what little mouse could want for more? Wasser Maus, is who!

He feels his life is incomplete, though peaceful as you please.

And even if he is replete with life’s necessities,

he lacks a certain something -- a challenge to the mind,

a quest, a song, a glimmering -- something undefined.

He ponders and he wonders and he searches in his soul

until his poor head thunders, but nothing will console.

So he tidies up his nesting place and adds the wool he found,

cleans his whiskers and his face and washes all around.

He sinks down with two heavy sighs, a paw beneath his head,

starts to close his sad black eyes, but looks about instead.

Through a chink between the bricks, an ivory moon is shining

on the shredded paper fixed to make a soft bed lining.

He studies all the headlines, both upsidedown and sideways,

but cannot understand the signs. They’re Rat to him, as always.

“I know these marks mean something. Maybe they’re a spell.

“They’re everywhere on everything -- inside at times, as well!”

Maus wonders at the use of the circles and the swoops,

the crosses and the curliques, the many lines and loops.

The twirly swirly spots of ink are through the whole household.

They’re even on the kitchen sink where water drips from C-O-L-D.

But in the bath where drips are hot, they fall from – “Dear! Oh my!”

Maus jumps to his feet like he’s been shot, squeezes shut one eye.

He holds the insight tightly, and his breath until he’s pale.

“If I’m thinking rightly,” he pauses to exhale,

“C-O-L-D must stand for cold, and H-O-T is surely hot.

N-U-T-S are like pure gold, while P-E-P-P-E-R’s doubtless not!

Oh, wasted hours that I spent on caps inside the cupboard!

If I’d known then what M-A-R-M-I-T-E meant, I’m sure I wouldn’t have bothered!”

Deep inside his wakened heart, excitement starts to spin,

and Wasser Maus feels a dart of pure adrenalin

as he recalls a tiny booklet in the baby’s nursery,

with words and pictures typeset in lessons short and cursory.

He scampers to the viaduct leading to that room,

clambers through the airduct, into its dusty gloom.

Through the vent, across the floor, lies the reading manual.

He turns the pages to explore the letters academical.

An apple for the letter A. B, there is a bat.

C shows him a cat at play – he shies a bit at that.

D is for a dog, chasing thoughts of cat away.

E is for some eggnog, then F for flower spray.

G is for the goblin-gawks -- whatever could they be?!

H is for a cast of hawks, wheeling high and free.

Then on to I, an igloo. J is for a jacket.

K is for a kangaroo, and L is for a locket.

M is for the milkman. N pictures a nail.

O is for an ottoman, while P stands for a pail.

A quilt is featured next to Q. R introduces rain.

S is for a screw, and T is for a train.

Unicorn begins with U. V is Victory Day.

W for wallaroo, and X is for x-ray.

Y is yarn, and Z is zoo -- just when he’d thought it endless!

But now he’s learned, what can he do, considering he’s penless?

Back inside the kitchen, he stops at a report

lying on the countertop next to the chocolate torte.

Milk, he reads, Tea & Crumpets, Eggs and Bacon, too...

Jam & Honey, Beef Croquettes, Dumplings for the Stew...

Broccoli, Corn, and Sweets to Nibble, Lemons and some Capers...

Why, Maus wonders, do they scribble all these things on papers?

Carrots, Peas, Potatoes (Red), Salt and Cooking Fat...

“I hope they don’t forget the bread, cos we need more of that!”

Maus freezes as he understands what this list is for,

then does a jumpy joyful dance thinking of one more

item he might add to it of proper lunch material.

He rushes to the cabinet to find the A-B-Cereal.

He burrows in this letter box for those that fill his need,

then puts them under Lox & Bagels, Apples, and Birdseed.

He glues them into place with a bit of chocolate icing.

Now he’s backing up a pace, admiring his first writing.

Very sleepy, full of pride, Maus leaves behind his clutter.

Sometime soon, he’s satisfied, he’ll have PEENIT BUHTER.

There never was, nor could there be,

a mouse who was as smart as he.

mi sawng

ober da fens an doun da street,

a-varmint huntin i go.

mi noze noze da way

2 wayr wabbits stay

an eebil skwerls lay lo - ho!

ober da fens and doun da street,

i habba role inda sno,

den sniffy da groun

an mozee aroun

till ime kornerd, 2 mi wo - no!

hou 2 feeld dress a dukk

mi emayl fren brie gayv mee a dukk 2 praktis feeld-dressin awn. 

dis hole proseedyer tukk mee twenny minnits 2 kompleet. 

ive illustraytid da steps inda picher beelo.

i hoap dis will help yoo wiff yer feeld skillz.

klik onda picher 2 enlarj 

mi jawb iz dun

aftah mi frenzeed aktibitee, i enjoid a honey's bakery gormay treet,
awlso kurtasee uv brie! tank yoo 2 mi fren!!!!!

daisy gets a rownd

it wuzza wunnerful day 2 bee a dawg! first i wentid 2 dawgpark an i pwayd wiff awl mi frens.

den az part uv mi edyookayshun azza erbin sitty dawg, i wentid 2 kaldi's 2 get sum kawfee an kookeez. dis wuz nut az much fun az i ekspektid az i wuz beehynd a liddo fens an koodnut jumpy on ebreebuddee wut wahkt bi.

den kaym da bestist part! wile mi hoomin wuz distraktid gettin owt da kar keez, i suddinlee lunjd atta skwerl i sau in konkordia park... an i wuz FWEE!!!!! ohmidawg!!!!!! i runrunrun awl ober dat park, chaysin skwerlz upda tweez, an bownsin miownseff awffa da twee twunks aftah dem.

den i runrunrun a kross da street an doun anudder street wiff da leesh draggin beehynd mee. i past sumbuddee wahkin a liddo dawg, bud kood nut bee bodderd 2 say herrow kuz DAYRWUZZASKWERLOBERDAYR! i chayst da varmint n2 a yard, an hee wentid ober da bakk fens, an i wuz tryin 2 jumpy ober da fens aftah him bud it wuz 2 tall. den i herd sumfin beehynd mee... da hoomin shuttin da gayt.

an dat wuz da end uv mi funs.

lessun lernd: donut run n2 ANY yardz.

dammij dun: lostid awlda poopee bagz anna flashlite awffa da leesh.
SSS NDM DAYRWUZZASKWERLOBERDAYR

glacier, da sibeerian husky

glacier & mee habba dreenk

reese, da dalmayshun puppee

da dawgpark enjineer bilt a noo shelter
wiffa haystack winbrayk ferda poor kold hoominz

kaldi's

waytin fer sum kookeez

eer flappij

notis da ayrodynamikul ko-ordinayshun uvda leff an ryte eerz 

az day provyd ekstra lift 2 da forwerd propulzhun.

in a dishun, eer flappij haz bin noan 2 hipnityz wabbits,

wich iz handee fer varmint-chaysin.

skwerl kayk

da hoomin maydid a bigg kayk owtta ohts an bayreez an seedz an nutz an udder guddstuffs 2 fattin up da skwerlz in kays i ebber kech wun.

skwerl kawt on kamra piggin owt

varmint chaysin

da fays uv eebil

i eskaypt owt da bakkdorr! i sau a wikkid skwerl inda yard an chayst it ober da bakk fens. soe i wentid ober da fens aftah it. bud den i koodnut fynd da varmint, soe i ranranran doun da street an arown da korner an jumpt doun n2 da drybway past da hoomin wut kum 2 ketch mee, an bakk n2 da yard 2 fynd da skwerl agin.

an dat wuz da end uv mi funs.

lessun lernd: donut run bakk n2 yer oan yard!

SSS NDM DAYRWUZZASKWERLOBERDAYR!

awlla yoo skwerl-chaysin dawgz myte bee innerestid in dis webbysyte dat eksposiz dayr neffayreeus cunning wayz.

picher fum FreeDigitalPhotos.net

baylz uv funs

i tink dayrz a skwerl in heer sumwayr.

dayr wuzza soopryze atda dawgpark 2day...
3 mowntinz uv straws! it tukk mee an ower 2 sniff it awl.

den dayr wer 8 fyre trukks owtsyd wen wee gottid hoam. da hows a kross da street wuz on smoak.

i didnut see a fyredawg :( bud it wuz eggsytin eneewayz.

king helps me chekk owt da strawz.

nooz flash!!!!

dis kood bee yoo relaksin inda dawgpark

da sowthwest sitty dawgpark iz awferrin FWEE membahships 2 awl skwerlz an wabbits! lotsa bawlz, green stuff 2 eet, big treez an fresh waddah. soe awlla yoo varmintz kum pway chays wiff uss... fer FWEE!
UP DAYT: Sheeps ar awlso FWEE to joyn!
picher fum FreeDigitalPhotos.net